Six famous school report comments

To lighten things up at Six Things after the last controversial post and intense discussion I’ve got here a collection of great little report card quotes of famous people. A little light relief. These were taken from Could do Better, a collection of school reports by Catherine Hurley.

1. “Certainly on the road to failure.” on John Lennon

2. “She must try to be less emotional in her dealings with others.” on Diana Princess of Wales

3. “He would much sooner write an intimate memoir of Julius Caesar than a factual account of his Gallic wars. But then, who wouldn’t? Unfortunately examiners demand fact” on Bruce Chatwin.

4. “Scored average for most things, including intelligence.” on George Bush.

5. “I think he is just a teeny bit pleased with himself, or so I am prepared to hazard” on Michael Palin.

6. And my favourite, which is not a report card quote but a real gem nonetheless that can go here: “To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.” George W Bush addressing Yale graduates.

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Published in: on October 19, 2009 at 8:45 am  Comments (9)  
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Six overexposed celebrities in ESL/EFL coursebooks

First came my magazine cover, dare I dream of being in an ESL/EFL Coursebook?

 Ahhh, the coursebook celebrity. Whether it’s John Travolta with his plane parked in his garage, or the English football celebrity who fell on hard times, or the Hollywood kids, or Johnny Depp as a pirate, many EFL/ESL coursebooks just love a celebrity. Actually, I’m pretty darn fed up with celebrities in coursebooks now (even though, gulp, as a coursebook writer I’ve used them myself on one or two occasions). But for all those who haven’t noticed, here are my top six celebrities who are just too overexposed in the world of language teaching materials.

1. “The Queen of Pop” Madonna – number one with a bullet of coursebook celebrities; I personally think that English teachers, coursebook authors and publishers should get a cut of Madonna’s royalties for all the free publicity she has got off EFL over the past twenty years. Madonna’s constant reinventing of herself means that she is a good vehicle for present perfect. She almost always has a song somewhere in the top 40 which can be trotted out and used in class. She’s collecting marriages and divorces too now, which means she could be used in a text next to Liz Taylor to teach relationship vocabulary.

2.“The English Chef”  Jamie Oliver – The English celebrity chef who launched a programme of healthy school lunches. Attractive to English coursebook writers who want to bust the myth that all English cooking is basically awful. Fortunately for us Jamie is still churning out stuff and hasn’t overdosed on drugs or anything like that. He is becoming fat though.

3.”The Nice Scot who travels”  Ewan McGregor – When the new Star Wars trilogy came out and was due to last a few years we started seeing images of Ewan in coursebooks as Obi Wan Kenobi. It was the trips across the world in motorcycle (Long Way Round) though that caught the eye of more than one coursebook writer and meant he warranted a whole reading passage of his own complete with glossy photos of him and his mate on bikes. Ewan seems a nice enough guy too, and serves as the token Scot.

4.”The Beau” Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise/George Clooney. OK, I collapsed these three guys into one category. Any of these men can be used to liven up a page or appear in a unit on films. Plus the majority of teachers and students of language classes are women so these three are an obvious draw. I expect that Tom Cruise will be more and more absent as his scientology stuff and childish antics might not sit so well with coursebook authors and editors now. The BIG problem with these guys is that you just can’t depend on them to keep the same relationship for the length of time it takes a coursebook to get published. That’s why you might still see old books with Cruise and Kidman or Pitt and Aniston. Coursebook authors that have featured Clooney as the hottest single Hollywood star are still fevertently hoping he stays that way. A big mea culpa here, I’ve included Clooney in a text once.

5. “The sports celebrity” Tiger Woods/Maria Sharapova The sports celebrity often pops up to decorate a unit on sports or be the subject of a life story text. Tiger Woods because he’s black and can even out the racial balance in a book (people in coursebooks tend to be too white) and Maria Sharapova is Russian and Russia is a big market for international coursebooks. She also gets in because she’s good-looking, I guess. And both are talented sportspeople. Of course.

6. “The blonde” Nicole Kidman/Naomi Watts/Cate Blanchette The token Australian good-looking blonde, so useful to balance out a unit on nationalities. Meant to keep the Australian teachers happy. Finally, each of these actresses have starred in films that coursebook authors probably like. Nicole Kidman’s star is on the wane I think, I’d be looking out for Watts to take her place as the resident Australian film star in books now.

Just like the celebrities themselves, this list is ephemeral and ever-changing. I expect to see the following celebrities appearing in 2009-11 titles: Lewis Hamilton F1 driver (to replace Tiger Woods); Spanish sports figures (Fernando Torres or Rafa Nadal) as Spain has had a bumper year in Sport and is a big market for ELT; Hugh Jackman and Craig Daniels as the new beautiful men in photos; and Kylie Minogue (who will run stiff competition with Madonna but Kylie had cancer which is more text-worthy than Madonna’s divorce). Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and their huge brood of children might become the new favourite choice to use for family, possessive s and nationalities all in one unit. I seriously hope there is no author out there who would dare make a text about Paris Hilton but anything is possible in this business. Remember, you read it here first!

Are there any celebrities that you feel are overdone in books? Post a comment.

Published in: on January 25, 2009 at 9:18 am  Comments (20)  
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Six famous writers who used to be language teachers

glasses_and_bookAre you a language teacher who’s secretly a great writer “in the wings”? Feel you’ve got a great novel in you just waiting to come out? Take heart, the following six people were just like you!

1. J.R.R. Tolkien. Author of  The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Tolkien taught English Language at the University of Leeds.

2.  James Joyce. Author of Ulysses and The Dubliners. Joyce taught English for a Berlitz school in Austria-Hungary.

3. Aldous Huxley. Author of Brave New World. Taught French at the elite public school Eton, where Eric Blair (George Orwell) was one of his students.

4. .J.K. Rowling. Author of the Harry Potter series. Rowling worked as an EFL teacher in a private language school in Portugal while writing the first Harry Potter book.

5. Frank McCourt. Author of Angela’s Ashes, ‘Tis and Teacher Man. McCourt taught English literature at a high school in New York.

6. Nick Hornby. Author of High Fidelity, About a Boy, Fever Pitch. Hornby worked as an EFL teacher  in London (and I have a colleague, Duncan Foord, who worked with him!)

Does anyone else know other famous authors who taught English while trying to make ends meet? Post a comment and share!

Published in: on December 17, 2008 at 1:55 pm  Comments (15)  
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